I am proud of my long record of legislative accomplishments while I have served Nebraska's First. For the fifteen years I have served my district I have been beleaguered by demands that I address whatever the liberals have deemed complaint of the day. And let me tell you, these liberal demands are always code talk for one immoral thing or another. If it's not "universal healthcare" (that's code for "handout"), it's "the environment" (code for "I don't trust Jesus to take care of the planet his dad created purely for our pleasure and plunder 6,000 years ago"). If it's not "a livable wage" (that's code for "I love avocado toast") it's "women's health" (that's code for "let whores murder babies"). Yet through all this noise I have faced in D.C., I have been able to keep my eyes on the issues that most affect Nebraskans, which is why I am proud to have introduced and passed the following pieces of legislation:

Boys Town Centennial Commemorative Coin Act

This law created gold coins commemorating the 100th anniversary of Boys Town.

Defending Economic Livelihoods and Threatened Animals Act or the DELTA Act

This law does some stuff for elephants and also directs the Department of State to work with "donors and the private sector" to "catalyze economic growth" in a majority Catholic country in Africa.

Help Haitian Adoptees Immediately to Integrate Act of 2010 or Help HAITI Act of 2010

This law allowed U.S. adoptive parents to cut through the red tape and avoid part of the review process in adopting Haitian orphans after the terrible earthquake of 2010. Critics have pointed out that 80% of children in Haitian orphanages are not actually orphans, and that some were surrendered by desperate parents under false pretenses, such as missionaries saying their kids were just being put in school, but I don't have time for the haters of my Help HAITI Act!!

What's Next for Jeff?

I look forward to another fifteen years of only promoting my specific religious interests at a success rate of once per five years. My track record stands on its own merits. As we head into the 2020 election, remember to "support Fort" because the only alternative is to "pick Bolz."